To never give up, is not always the best option in romantic relationships. While we wait with a mindset of love and patience, it is prudent for someone to make a commitment to us, to keep our eyes and ears open, and to pay attention to our instincts. I would never recommend anyone to participate in a relationship.
I have arrived in my own life enough times to know the error of that time in relationships. When we have time to take a relationship to the next level, we each have our own internal understanding. If this is not happening, in your relationship, and you want something else, it is up to you to start the conversation.
Are You Riding a Dead Horse?
If you have already discussed your desire for more commitment, and nothing has changed, then you can ride a dead horse.
A reluctant partner who was hurt in a previous relationship may have real concerns about being hurt again. Your understanding and patience will help calm their fears. However, if a reasonable amount of time has passed, and your partner is not making any effort to keep the past behind, and is moving forward with you, then the time has come for you to set yourself free.
You can ride a dead horse if your partner does not make you their priority and tries hard enough to keep you engaged. If you are spending your weekend alone, it can be a red flag. Some people are so afraid of how a commitment will change their lives, that they are frozen in time.
Or they will be waiting for something better to come along… you will for now. As long as they are having fun and there is peace in the relationship, they are content to continue it. Beware of people who make a compelling picture of giving more time to your relationship in the future. When the “future” comes, that person is nowhere to be found.
In the song, Aretha Franklin, Cher, and others announced their kiss “it’s in their kiss” the way a man could tell you if you loved him or not. Unfortunately, this is not so easy. The best way to know is to listen to your own inner wisdom.
The voice that tells you to walk away from an unsatisfactory relationship, or is lying to you that no one will want you, you are going alone. It is not the voice of knowledge, it is the voice of fear.
Listen to the voice that tells you that you will be fine no matter what happens. Listen to the voice that tells you to take yourself away from the bargain rack and stop settling for a relationship that does not give you peace and satisfaction.
If the horse (relationship) you are riding on is dead… you know what to do.
Linda’s mission is to help you silence the inner critic so that you can see the possibilities rather than the obstacles. Build better relationships and homes and work and experience life the way you want to.